Life Hack: Welcome Suffering, Pain and Negativity In Your Life

suffering-pain-and-negativity.jpg

I am 38 now and I had been reading and trying to understand the wisdom of life since a long time. I read quite a lot of ancient scriptures and books on various subjects; ranging from science to philosophy. I also went one step ahead to take a 4-year sabbatical to understand my self and life.

Every belief system has it’s own philosophy regarding leading a life but I like to find my own truth and live it.

I think there’s a lot of noise about suffering, pain and especially negativity. People are big on negativity stuff. They’re going crazy over it—abusing the word.

I feel that life is a random combination of everything—all the emotions and adjectives. Life doesn’t live in isolation or with a specific set of parameters.

I don’t think things ever get solved. They just come together for a while and fall back gain.

And it keeps happening.

Personal growth and realization comes from letting everything happen in your life. There has to be enough of grief- relief, misery-joy, suffering-happiness, negativity-positivity and all of that.

After all it’s about dualism.

Life is like a stick with two opposites. It looks opposite but is,  actually, complementary. One side can’t exist without other.

Never.

Suffering and pain comes from wishing things were different. But many a times they’re not. It’s not in our hand and if we believe in the concept of the supreme almighty, then surely it’s not in our hand.

It’s a divine design.

Accept and appreciate that someone supreme and better is guiding us. Be patient and give time—and universe—a chance.

मन का हो तो अच्छा है |
ना हो तो और अच्छा है |
Dr. Harivansh Rai Bachchan

Negativity comes as a friend or body-guard. It’s like the thorns below the roses. There’s nothing bad in it. Like there can be no light without darkness, there will be no positive without negative.

Negative also means empty and unless there is emptiness, there can’t be abundance. A good example is of zero.

If your bank balance is zero, you say I am in negative but at the back of mind, you always want more zeroes to be added after any digit. This zero is situational and temporary—as said above—and becomes negative and positive as per time and circumstances.

Suffering, pain and negativity are there for a reason.

Everything is for a reason.

Let the hard things in life break you, affect you and change you. Le the hard times inform you.

Let suffering, pain and negativity be your teacher. It will go ways once it has finished teaching you. All of it is here to teach us. It’s like a guest who has come in our home-sweet-home.

Welcome it. Serve it. Please it. Befriend it.

Who knows it may never come back? And you may have nothing in life, not even suffering, pain and negativity.

The secret of living a successful and prosperous life—as per my little understanding—is to accept and appreciate all that comes to you. After all everything is situational and temporary, says ancient wisdom.

Don’t run away from suffering, pain and negativity.  Don’t shut your doors for them.

What is the lesson in suffering? What is pain trying to tell you? What will you learn if you face negativity?

Learn from it.

Maybe, suffering, pain and negativity is the key to your problem; door to another dimension—the dimension to ultimate and everlasting happiness.

 

Prisoners Need Reform Not Punishment

Our Father of Nation—Mahatma Gandhi—believed in reform not punishment and with this philosophy, Additional Director General (Prison) Mr. Bhushankumar Upadhyay and Jail Superintendent Mr. U.T. Pawar organized a workshop in the largest prison of South Asia—Yerwada Central Jail, Pune.

prisoners.jpg

When one commits a mistake in life, one has to pay a big cost for it. But it’s not the end of life, not even for the prisoners of jail. There is always a ray of hope to live a happy, positive and normal life– for them too. This was the overview of the program conducted by Mind Power Expert, Transformation Leader and Human Potential Expert Mr. Sunil Parekh of RISE Development Academy, Mumbai.

400 prisoners of Yerwada Central Jail attended this 4-hour mind power and life education workshop on 27th October this year.

No one is a born criminal but rather they develop this mindset due to their experiences and circumstances. Due to losing control of the mind at the spur of moment, one has to bear the consequences as per the law of the land; and that is usually a punishment in jail.

While serving in the jail, they lose all hope to live a happy, positive and normal life, but Mr. Parekh shared the technique to change their mindset by explaining them the powers of subconscious mind with lots of practical tools and techniques.

Through the visualization technique, they were taught to paint a positive picture of life after coming out of jail, so that it can manifest into a reality. Through affirmations, they were taught to believe that its possible for them to become a good citizen; again. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a very powerful tapping exercise on 9 meridian points of the body to heal any negative emotions, lessen mental and physical pain and bring about reform.

sunil parkeh in jail.jpg

Many prisoners cried during the EFT session. Though their minds have become negative, hopeless and their hearts is filled with guilt, anger, sadness, anxiety and fear of future, awareness of their potential and power of subconscious mind can enable them to live a happy, positive and normal life. Their past cannot be changed but a better future can be created by the making them realize their potential, support of the society and such noble initiatives.

This noble and unique program was made possible with genuine efforts of Dr. Datta Kohinkar, of Vishwashakti Foundation, Pune. He attended Mr. Parekh’s Mind Power Unlimited program and came up with this noble thought of sharing this valuable knowledge with prisoners of Yerwada Central Jail.

This noble and genuine effort of Mr. Parekh will be of great help to this neglected segment of the society and will realize the philosophy of our Father of Nation.

 

 

Lessons From My Trip To Yerwada Central Jail

“How many years you got?”

“25 years”

“What section?”

“302”

“Murder?!”

“Yes”

“Why?”

“Our family had been exploited since years. I took my revenge, and ended the chapter. Forever.”

This is one of the many conversations I had today in my visit to south Asia’s biggest prison—Yerwada Central Jail.

We had been given special permission by the Additional Director General (Prison), Maharashtra, to conduct a transformation workshop through our Rise Academy.

There were 350 prisoners in the session.

Who are these prisoners? They are people who have committed a serious or pretty crime and convicted by a court. Some of them were just scapegoats and some were just a pawn of our crime scene, disruptive society and loopholes in law and order.

There are regular people who have committed a crime mostly in a gesture of acute anger and helplessness. Many of them will stay here for a while, say 25 years.

jail-canteen.jpg

Some of them for death sentence.

The start of the session was quite haywire because we couldn’t catch their attention.

They’re restless and frustrated. But towards the end most of them were crying aloud. Many felt transformation in 3 hours. Some were indifferent and walked away.

Although, I have visited some jails in past but this was a completely different experience as we got to interact one to one with many.

Most of them are filled with guilt because of the crime they committed. Most of them are products of the exploitative society and income inequality.

No one wants to live in a prison and they dream of a free life. We can’t give them their physical freedom but we tried to give them tools to get out of the emotional prison they live in.

629pause_mode_17082010_n_topyerwadajailbreakeng_22067_4984bpause_mode.jpg

Life in a prison is extremely difficult and dangerous. Few transform, few become criminal for a lifetime.

The person who was serving 25 years sentence is scheduled to get out in few months but he’s scared and depressed. He has no idea what to do in the new world he’ll enter, with no family or friends as such.

The trip to Yerwada jail has been an eye-opener for me, a more exciting trip than a trip to moon.

Jail is a great teacher. It teaches the value of life, especially freedom. It teacher that, usually, you can’t escape a crime – you have to pay for it.

And what is underlying emotion; mostly?

Anger.

Anger destroys your senses and makes you a monster and in that moment, you do something terrible. You and your entire universe suffers.

I have learnt my lesson and want to request you to manage your anger otherwise it will turn you into a monster.

At the and, I feel, we’re all prisoners in our own jail of misbeliefs, suffering, ego, lust, greed, blind faith, frustrations and anger.

The only difference is they’re inside and we’re outside.

 

Gratitude Is Good For You

gratitude hearts.jpg

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful and showing appreciation. It’s  a mindful acknowledgment of all that we have been given. When we focus on the abundance in our lives, we discover a greater capacity for generosity, cheerfulness, and contentment.

Expressing gratitude is a rewarding habit that affirms the grace of the giver. Gratitude opens our hearts, encourages us to savor each gift that comes our way, and magically frees us from jealously guarding our possessions. It lets us celebrate today rather than waiting for the next level of accomplishment or wealth. It’s a reminder that one can always find reason to be glad.

Success Tip: Cut Your Spending Without Cutting Into Your Life

spend less.jpg

I was on a sabbatical from 2013-2017. Although, it was a fun sabbatical, I learnt some valuable lessons for a simple and joyful life. I was on a money-diet in this period—no regular income. I survived on my savings a little income I made from some freelance projects.

The sabbatical was to explore my inner-self, and learn a lot about forgiveness, compassion, kindness and gratitude; basically, the recipe for a truly happy life.

I agree that everyone has their own perspective of a simple life but I somehow feel that cutting spending gives you wings. I was able to do a lot of good work for myself and society in these four years, mainly because I had less baggage. My baggage was less and hence, I could run more.

Am I single? No. I am married since 2010.

Me and my wife have a fantastic understanding. Many of my friends inquire about the secret of our simple life. And I think the answer is that we keep life simple. I don’t have a formula as such but I have some ideas that can help.

So, I made a list of some spending-reducing suggestions that I felt either didn’t have any impact at all on quality of life—things you can do once and benefit from for a while—or, if they’re repeatable, are inherently fun.

  1. Get rid of stuff you don’t use: Take a trip through your home and look around for things that you simply don’t use or rarely use and sell them off, just get rid of the clutter.
  2. Do some basic energy efficiency around your living place: Install a programmable thermostat to replace your current one to have the heating and cooling shut off when you’re not at home, saving the cost of running it.
  3. Unless you’re a heavy cell phone user, switch to a pay-as-you-go phone: A pay-as-you-go cell phone can be substantially cheaper than a cell phone plan. Look into some pay-as-you-go plans and see if any fit your usage needs and add up to significant savings over what you already use.
  4. Buy in bulk the staples you use all the time: The best way to do this is to buy items in bulk if you’re going to use all of them in reasonable time or before it becomes unusable like toilet paper, dishwashing detergent and laundry soap.
  5. Unplug electronic devices you’re not using: Many plugged in electronic devices use up energy but if you have such devices that you rarely use like a coffee pot and entertainment devices, unplugging them can save a significant amount of money on your energy bill.
  6. Switch to a bank that respects you: See what banks are available in your local area that offer full service online, doesn’t charge you ridiculous fees and has customer service that makes online banking easy and accessible.
  7. Sign up for the customer rewards programs at the places you already shop: Most customer rewards programs just result in free stuff like in many groceries stores they’ll automatically find coupons for you reducing the cost of your bill with no effort at all for you.
  8. Figure out your most cost-effective grocery store and shop there: Figure out which grocery store available to you with best prices on the staples you normally buy all the time like milk, vegetables and fruit where you will be open to shop regularly.
  9. Look around for discounts: Everyone is offering some or the other discount for shopping or eating. Keep checking online for offers.
  10. Check your cupboards and fridge before you hit the grocery store: Spend time glancing in the fridge to see what you have and then make a quick list of the things that are missing, this will save your money without influencing your buying choices.
  11. Cook home food for guests: This really works and guests really feel awesome. It will also save a lot of money specially with those taxes around.
  12. Use water bottle when out: carry reusable water bottles whenever you’re out and avoid those expensive and unhealthy bottles water; unless unavoidable.
  13. If you’re married, talk to your partner about what life you want to lead: Sure, this seems like a good relationship tactic. After all, it’s always useful to make sure you’re on the same page. However, doing this regularly has another significant impact. It helps both partners to set goals together that they’re both committed to. During such a conversation, people tend to find the things they have in common, the desires that they share. When those desires become clear, quite often the conversation and thoughts move towards how to actually make them happen.
  14. Keep a notebook on hand: You’ll see all sorts of opportunities and hear many different ideas, keep a notebook with you and when these ideas present themselves write them down.

I don’t say that these will work 100% with everyone but it had worked for me in the time of my sabbatical and the best part is, we’re still continuing it. With this formula we have reduced our spending by 50%. We’re now able to save more and spend on stuff that really matters for us and for stuff that brings us true and everlasting happiness.

You can also check my blog post on 76 ways to save money.

And finally, just chart out your priorities and believe in the of universe. Don’t fall into the trap of good, best, need or want because these words mean different things for different people. Use your brain and consciousness to decide your life.

A Mother’s Last Three Wishes Before Dying!

I lost my parents in 2015. Mother was terminally ill at the time of death; in fact she was in coma for a month before leaving for her final journey. Although, she died—biologically—on 24.03.2015, I saw her dying every moment; right in front of my eyes every day.

In hospital, there was nothing to do except wait—for the final news—or think about the journey I had with her. And sometime, about her journey from the cradle to death bed.

indian-family.jpg

She was born at a very violent time; the partition of India. Although, she was lucky to have not witness the tempest but she had some genetic memory of the whole incident; from her parents.

mother.jpg

After the partition, she was raised in Old Delhi. She completed her graduation in home since with much difficulty and after marriage she shifted to Mumbai to stay with my father. They both had extremely difficult times for many years.

We were from an average economical background and she had to sacrifice many of her dreams in the battle of raising us. And me, I was never an obedient child as such.

After 2005, my life was in top-gear and I was on the ninth cloud. I never forgot my old days of struggle, poverty and scarcity. So, as I became financially independent and pseudo-wealthy, I decided to make my wealth work for my mother because she had given all she had.

She never asked anything but one day I came to know about few of her wishes. And these wishes were so strong that she hoped them to happen once before she died. This became one of my pertinent and urgent goals of life.

wagon r.jpg

Her first wish was to own a car someday. All her life she had traveled in local bus and train. The first thing I did after acquiring wealth was to gift her a small car. I also kept a driver so my parents can travel comfortably. The car was there with them till their end.

diamond ring.jpg

Her second wish was to wear a diamond ring someday. She had gifted a diamond ring to my sister on her wedding but she didn’t make one for her. I planned a surprise for her on her 60th birthday. I bought her a small diamond ring and asked my father to put it on her finger. Her joys knew no bounds that night. The ring has come back to me after hr death.

big b.jpg

Her third and last wish was to meet the most popular Bollywood actor of all time. She was an ardent fan of Big B and wanted to meet him once before dying. This was the most difficult task because I don’t have much contact in the film industry. For many years I tried to find a contact but all in vain. I had almost lost hope but somehow a dear friend—Malcom—managed audience passes of the popular TV show—KBC—for my parents. She was able to see him right in front of her eyes and also shook hand with the superstar.

These three wishes are—also—the biggest achievements of my life. After every wish, she would feel so joyful. I remember all the moments of pride, joy, madness, anxiety and all of that. After so many years when I look back, it seems that these wishes were so petty but it meant a whole world to mother.

I don’t think I have achieved anything much bigger than actualizing mother’s last wishes. I don’t know how I fared as a son but I was—somehow—able to fulfill her wishes with support of money, friend, job, the universe and the creator of the universe; if any.

The three—the car, the ring and the superstar—came together to make her three wishes come true.

But this isn’t all, there is one more important lesson to be observed. My money bought joy for my mother and I have realized that if you use your wealth wisely—in service of others—it can surely bring you true and everlasting happiness. To know more, watch this amazing video:

You Won’t Believe What These Three Adults Did To This Little Boy, It’s Shocking!

Gaurav Sharma is a college going boy. I have known him since he was in school. He’s from a economically challenged family background and some of our like-minded friends support his educational needs time-to-time.

The above statement is a stereotype that you must have heard time to time; a thousand times. Every other article talk about underprivileged students, a hero giver and all of that. But this one is with a little twist.

What’s the twist? Who are the characters of this blog post?

Gaurav Sharma

First character is little Gaurav Sharma who is not an underprivileged student. He’s a brilliant and talented student doing his BMM from a college in Mumbai. And yes, he’s from one of those slums in Mumbai that doesn’t decide his fate or is his profile.

He’s a hard-working and committed student who supports a lot of community service with SOMEONE. SOMEWHERE.

Hemang in happy mood.jpg

Second character is this mad man Hemang Chheda who is a ad-man. He’s equally challenged when it comes to sanity.

Ameetha Singh.jpg

Third character is this soulful women Ameetha Singh who is a multi-talented human and a philanthropist by heart.

Sushant.jpg

Fourth character is a technology geek Sushant Kapoor who is a simpleton with a big heart.

Let’s weave this story and narrate it.

When Gaurav started his media college, I had some ideas to support his educational needs. I knew that we would more than money. This is the time when these three angles—Hemang, Ameetha and Sushant —came into picture. They heard the case and without a second thought, offered warm support.

It’s hard to believe what they did but it’s really shocking that such weird creatures still exists. 

Hemang offered his expensive Canon camera kit, Ameetha offered monetary support to pay fee, internet and Sushant offered his laptop.

This may or may not be shocking or surprising to some of you but it is for me. I always wonder from where these few good souls suddenly crop-up in time of distress? I wonder what makes them so selfless and compassionate?

The tools they have offered are simple but they have opened a gate to an entire universe for little Gaurav. He has his weapons in place to fight his war or life. In other words, he has his tools to create his own life. His camera kit comes handy to learn lessons and shoot content. The laptop comes handy to lots of e-learning and editing content. The money comes handy to pay fee and use internet.

In this time of hatred, blame-game, terrorism and madness these few good souls keep the name of humanity alive and I am sure there are many like them in this world who are holding the hands of the needy.