College life was fun—friends, ocean, lust, fun, music, and a lot of intoxicants. And all this was bound by a common thread of a deep thirst for exploration. Back in the 1990s, drugs were sprawling in Mumbai.
Psychedelic drugs were a rage.
Although, it was only a privilege for the rich because of the high price addiction never leaves anyone alone. I was also not left.
The journey started with tasting small doses of psychedelic drugs during outside-the-campus student’s parties. Life was just started, everything was new, and there was an abundance of freedom; without responsibility.
I remember trying different stuff that was available—Cocaine, Heroin, LSD, Mandrax, Ecstasy, Flashback, Hashish, Magic Mushroom, DMT, Snake Bite etc. There were so many colorful pills and powders that I can’t even remember today.
It was fun in the beginning. We used to go to a slum near my home in the north of Mumbai, to buy these psychedelic drugs. I remember many Bollywood celebrities coming to the joint at late hours of the silent night. The seller was fondly called Narayanbua.
He was a powerful and popular drug pedlar in those days.
What started as a college rage soon cultivated into pseudo-spiritual seeking. I connected with a group of hippies from Europe who was, in turn, seeking for the meaning of life. They connected with some spiritual mentor in India who used psychedelic drugs as a tool for seeking and living on the hope of deliverance.
They told me that they’re seeking God.
These hippies roamed naked on beaches of Goa and made their personal hermitage for seeking the ultimate truth. There was a lot of space for everyone and I used to visit them now-and-then, in hope of deliverance and understanding the concept of God.
There were also a lot of trance parties to connect with the universe; they said. But it was nothing more than being drugged, drunk and have sex all day and night.
I was sort of enjoying this nakedness, madness and seeking. All this for new for me and the best part was that all of it was sponsored by some wealthy friend; who went along with me. But soon, I realized that I was going too far into the world of drugs; under the garb of pseudo-spirituality.
I controlled myself and came out of that psychedelic and fake world. It was really hard, took some time but I was out before my graduation. I had lost weight and my brain too.
Psychedelic drugs have a lot of bad effects—physical and psychological ones. You must know some of them:
- Wild mood swings, depression, anxiety, paranoia, violence
- Decrease in pleasure in everyday life
- Complication of mental illness
- Psychological tolerance to the drug’s effects creating a desire to do ever-increasing amounts of the drug
- Desire to engage in risky behavior
- Heart rate irregularities, heart attack
- Respiratory problems such as lung cancer, emphysema, and breathing problems
- Abdominal pain, vomiting, constipation, diarrhea
- Kidney and liver damage
- Seizures, stroke, brain damage
- Changes in appetite, body temperature, and sleeping patterns
Much later in life, after reading a lot of books and a lot of introspection, I have understood that God and spirituality are inside. It’s not something to look out for; it’s all an inside job. The moment you start looking for it outside, you’re going to get addicted; whether it’s places of worship or psychedelic drugs.
God is inside you.
I urge all of you to learn from my lesson and stay away from false practices for seeking. What you’re seeking is seeking you, it will come to you at the right time. No music, pills, therapies, books or images will help.
If you believe in God, he or she will find you in his or her own strange ways. Don’t worry, don’t hurry.
Say no to drugs; please!