This blog post is one of those ideas that keep creeping into my mad mind. I am not a learned man and so this may or maybe not be relevant for you at all, but do take a look at my perspective.
I love interrobang—it gives me so much freedom to express. But anyway, let’s get back to our point.
Often, we hear the sentence I am proud of you or I feel so proud, don’t we? Although the dictionary meaning of pride is to feel deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one’s own achievements, there’s more to the meaning.
Means, there are more layers and hidden vibrations attached with this word and I love to dig out the hidden part; that may or may not be true—this is all from ancient wisdom and my personal experiences with life.
Pride is a two-faced emotion. On the one hand it can be noble and good, and on the other it can be selfish and mean. It all depends on how it is used and not everyone knows how to use it.
Pride—one of the seven deadly sins—is just one-step behind false ego. Read closely, not ego, false ego. Ego is essentially everything you identify yourself with. So, you can show signs of n false ego if you possess traits of arrogance and narcissism. But the false ego is more complicated than how you may think you’re better than anyone else—it can destroy you from inside and outside both.
From inside, you always think that you’re better than others and that may not be the case and from the outside people will stay away from you. People will resent your company because people usually like simple and humble people. No one wants a pride-monger or a narcissistic besides them.
I was the victim of the pride-turned-false-ego some years ago. I was doing good in my career and received several appreciations from organization and peers. The appreciation often came in form of monetary benefits and I couldn’t control the temporary pleasure attached to it. The result—I tuned in to a narcissist.
It was only after some time that I—fortunately—realized that my pride has turned into a false ego and I need to let it go. This inspired me to do an inner journey and I planned a 4-year long sabbatical to get rid of this dangerous disease.
In this period, I read many books on ancient wisdom, studies different belief systems and met many scientific and spiritual people to discuss what I understood. The ancient wisdom was right, the pride turned itself into a dangerous monster because I couldn’t handle it. Read carefully, because I couldn’t handle it. That means feeling proud may not be dangerous if you can handle it.
But how many of us can?
I see parents and friends around me who use the words I am proud of to their close ones. I feel scared. What if the same thing happens with their loved ones? And you can actually see that the world is full of people with false ego.
If you dig deep, it all started with the childhood. When the parent or teacher says the word I am proud of you, it ignites a feeling comparison in the children and they feel they’re better than others. This feeling cultivates as the children grow up and take a dangerous form in adulthood. It’s like the balloon; the more you fill the air, the more it grows and in the end, it bursts into pieces.
BTW, this is also one of the teachings of the great Buddha.
So, the next time you use the I AM PROUD sentence, please think about this blog post and the journey that word can make. Think about the destruction—of self—that sentence can do. Rest, use your wisdom and a fine sense of judgment to analyze this blog post.