Josh was counting his last moments lying on the bed. He was bleeding and had no one around to help him. He lay there with a piece of paper in his fist, some last words scribbled on it with trembling hands. Although it was a not easily readable, it had something about his current state.
Suddenly, somebody was banging the door and shouting Josh, Josh, open the door and as Josh kept watching the door, he drifted into nostalgia.
Josh’s roommate was screaming and banging the door loudly. He opened up after a while. The room as filled with smoke and a weird odor. His friend was fuming.
How many times I have told you not to do drugs. Josh, what has gone has gone. It won’t change but if you don’t forget it, it will ruin your life. She was not the only girl in this world. You are a charming young man. Get out of it Josh, don’t waste your time on her. She isn’t returning to you. Rini is on the line for you, talk to her.
I don’t want to talk to her now, I cannot get out of her; go away brother.
His roommate explained the situation to Rini and asked her to call some other time. He was the only person who knew Josh’s life in depth, from the start.
Josh had an affair with a girl in his late teens. He married her but it was not successful and they got divorced very soon. Another girl took his heart immediately after his divorce. She was a very smart girl who set him up for many years. She used him and flew to America for further studies. This had a deep impact on his mind, after which he remained very quiet and resorted to intoxication. But that wasn’t the only truth.
He fell in love with another woman while he was in with his second girlfriend. His second girl was in a far away city and this distance distracted him which eventually lead him into two simultaneous relationships. He had been double-dating but it was more of an overlapping relation because he had started thinking of ending his relationship with his second girlfriend.
Rini was a beautiful girl and was Josh’s student. He used to teach her arts. He was attracted towards her physical beauty in no time. He thought it would really be nice if he could flirt with her for a while.
Anyways, how will my girlfriend come to know that I am flirting with Rini? And moreover, its going to be a short time relation.
He assured his conscience.
Rini was also very attracted towards Josh due to his craft but she never knew about his existing affair. Days passed, months passed and Josh and Rini kept coming closer and closer. This was also the time when his second girlfriend had started breaking away to migrate to America.
At one point of time Rini asked Josh for a commitment. She wanted to marry him.
But, Rini, I never saw you as my life partner.
This tore her apart and she turned away in sorrow. Soon, a month later, his second girlfriend said the same thing when he asked her for marriage. Time had taken its revenge. As you sow shall you reap and Josh was shattered after they broke off.
After this incident Josh had turned into an alcoholic. He lied and was arrogant. He decided not to trust any woman and decided never to speak the truth with any woman. Everything was a lie thereafter. He turned towards prostitution for a while before suddenly getting in touch with Rini; again.
Rini still loved him a lot and gave him all, still unknown to everything that happened. He kept lying, one to cover the other. He only wanted her body but she loved him wholeheartedly. They often fought and one day Josh left her, again. He migrated to another country where he had an affair with another lady, she too left him and finally he was bankrupt and was deported to his home country.
Josh had lost everything he loved, everybody deserted him but Rini was the only one who was still in love with him. She took good care of Josh till he came back to his senses.
Her love slowly started bringing him back. He understood the meaning of life. He repented everything that happened and how he ditched her every time and how true her love was towards him.
As days passed, Josh really fell in love with Rini for the first time. He starting sharing his feelings with her. He never used to communicate properly with her and now he used to call up several times in a day. She was very happy with this new face of Josh and once again she proposed to him for marriage.
He kept quiet again.
Time had wounded all heals again. It was a miracle or tragedy in Josh’s life. He was contacted by his ex-wife and second girlfriend. Their lives were also miserable and they wanted to return to him because they both knew that he loved them with a true heart.
Josh could not understand this joke of life. All his life he kept loosing, he never got water when he was thirsty and now suddenly a storm was following him. This was the toughest time in his life. He did not know what to do. Although, he was out of depression, a new hammer kept on nailing his conscience. Neither did he tell Rini nor did he tell them about her.
All relations were badly jumbled and looked like a labyrinth.
How long can a relation sustain which is built on the soil of lies, was the question he pondered all the while.
He was scared to tell anyone all that happened in all these years because he thought that something worse could happen if he told Rini the truth. She will be broken and he could not live a life with a false face every day and neither did he want to return to his ex-lovers.
His health slowly began to deteriorate again. He was continuously thinking like a mad man, maybe he really did turn into a mad man. He had fallen in his own eyes. That night Rini called up to get an answer to her proposal.
Josh had already had an overdose of some pills. He didn’t answer her call and fell on the bed, slowly dying. He did not want to live anymore.
He was tired of life.
Rini came running with a friend to his house. They had to break enter into the house. They ran towards the door. They tried to open it but it was locked.
Josh, open up. Please open up the door, Josh.
Josh had already closed her eyes to the world of sorrow and the flashback was over. Rini and the friend somehow managed to break the door. They saw Josh bleeding from the mouth. The other friend ran to arrange for a doctor but she could not feel the breath of her beloved was no more.
She sat next to the cold body. She cried loudly. She had waited so many years, all alone for her love to accept her but she had finally lost.
Rini cried and cried for a while and then after a while she suddenly saw a note in Josh’s hand. She immediately opened the blood-soaked note in which he wrote his final words—I CANNOT TAKE THIS PAIN ANYMORE. I AM NOT THE ONE FOR YOU RINI. I AM LIKE A GRAVEYARD FLOWER, THAT CAN NEVER SEE A BUTTERFLY.